FEBRUARY 2014
Remembering The Accident That Killed Her
By
John Grey
her death is
still remembered,
drops you deep as wells
and is impossibly chilly -
all around you,
are heads that hold secrets,
houses of the dead -
all it takes is her name
and everything mended now is broke,
graceful contours topple into
that great gulf between grind of bones
and pulling your weight forward --
John Grey is an Australian born poet. Recently published in The Lyric, Vallum and the science fiction anthology, “The Kennedy Curse” with work upcoming in Bryant Literary Magazine, Natural Bridge, Southern California Review and the Pedestal.
John Grey: An Interview With A Poet From Down Under:
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: The editors at Lavender Wolves Literary Journal have seen your work previously appear in other literary journals. Do you have any advice to aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? That being said, do you think the internet has helped the poetry market, or hindered it in anyway? Why or why not?
- John Grey: My advice to aspiring writers is read a lot, find your voice, be honest with yourself, and be persistent both in writing your work and marketing it. Publication can certainly be rewarding but expect to do a lot of hard work both physically and mentally before you see your work in print and/or on-line on a regular basis. The internet has certainly provided a lot more opportunity for writers. How beneficial that will be in the long term, to my mind, remains to be seen. I believe that most writers, still prefer to see their work in print than on line. However, the internet has certainly created an environment in which more people are being published and the potential audience is far greater than the number of people who would read the print variety. There are some magazines – the Pedestal is one that comes to mind – that have made a reputation to rival some of the long established print magazines. But how many will ultimately achieve that kind of quality and reputation remains to be seen.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: How do you feel about rejection as a whole? Do you remember the first time your work was accepted? How about your first rejection? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career?
- John Grey: To be honest, I don’t remember my first rejection but I well recall my first acceptance. It was in the mid 80’s (long before the internet) and the magazine was titled Deros. It published poems on the Vietnam War. The reason that I sent to that particular publication was that a friend of mine had been accepted there. So it was a case of, if they can do it, then why not me. I did go into the whole poetry submission process blind. I had no idea what kinds of magazines were out there and what type of poetry they were looking for. So it was a long learning process. Of course, if you want to be published, then you need to deal with rejections. The earlier you develop that required thick skin the better. There are many many reasons why poems are rejected. Some of them may have nothing to do with the quality of the work. Few rejection letters come with any useful explanation as to why the work was turned down. The key is to believe in what you’re doing and keep plugging away.
- John Grey: Because I write so much poetry, (I did a rough count this past year and the number is over 40,000) the inspiration behind any particular piece is mostly buried somewhere in the creative fog. This particular poem, “Remembering The Accident That Killed Her” though certainly springs from the morbid side of my imagination.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: Who are some of your favorite poets, and why do you consider them to be your favorites? Of those favorites, which poet influences you to write the way you do and why?
- John Grey: I try to avoid having favorite poets and, in fact, list-making in general. Let me say that in my formative years i.e. school days, the ones that opened up for me what poetry could be were from the classical realm Blake’s “Tyger Tyger,” Coleridge’s “Ancient Mariner” and Poe’s “The Raven” are three that come to mind.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: At this stage of your career, you have established yourself, but all writers want to accomplish more. What sort of plans do you have moving forward? Or do you aspirations that you still would like to accomplish in a professional capacity?
- John Grey: I have finally reached a point where I have more time to write so I am branching out more into prose, particularly short stories. My current goal is to see more of them in print. Beyond that, I don’t know. But I will certainly continue to write poetry.
Giving in
By
Valentina Cano
By
Valentina Cano
This ache has more lives than I do.
I’ve torn it into confetti,
bled it until I was swimming
in its viscous membranes
and still it returns.
It has learned my codes,
accumulated how to dismantle my alarms.
The day will come when I’ll bend
and it will crawl over me
like a blanket of fire ants.
Valentina Cano is a student of classical singing who spends whatever free time either writing or reading. Her works have appeared in Exercise Bowler, Blinking Cursor, Theory Train, Cartier Street Press, Berg Gasse 19, Precious Metals, A Handful of Dust, The Scarlet Sound, The Adroit Journal, Perceptions Literary Magazine, Welcome to Wherever, The Corner Club Press, Death Rattle, Danse Macabre, Subliminal Interiors, Generations Literary Journal, A Narrow Fellow, Super Poetry Highway, Stream Press, Stone Telling, Popshot, Golden Sparrow Literary Review, Rem Magazine, Structo, The 22 Magazine, The Black Fox Literary Magazine, Niteblade, Tuck Magazine, Ontologica, Congruent Spaces Magazine, Pipe Dream, Decades Review, Anatomy, Lowestof Chronicle, Muddy River Poetry Review, Lady Ink Magazine, Spark Anthology, Awaken Consciousness Magazine, Vine Leaves Literary Magazine, Avalon Literary Review, Caduceus,White Masquerade Anthology and Perhaps I'm Wrong About the World. Her poetry has been nominated for Best of the Web and the Pushcart Prize. Her debut novel, The Rose Master, will be published in 2014. You can find her here: http://carabosseslibrary.blogspot.com
Valentina Cano: An interview With A Poet:
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: The editors at Lavender Wolves Literary Journal have seen your work previously appear in other journals. Do you have any advice to aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? Do you think the internet has helped the poetry market, or hindered it in anyway? Why or why not?
- Valentina Cano: The best thing you can do, as an aspiring writer, is to keep writing. And I don’t mean once a month, when inspiration strikes, I mean every day, whether you feel like it or not. There is no magic button to press to become a writer: you have to work at it day by day. Once you have a few pieces you’re happy with, send them out to as many magazines as you can. Don’t be overly picky about publishing your work. Give new magazines the same chance you want to get as a new author. The internet is a huge help, to every writer. The world becomes so small and you can end up publishing poems or stories all over the world.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: How do you feel about rejection as a whole? do you remember the first time your work was accepted? Conversely, do you also remember your first rejection upon submission? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career?
- Valentina Cano: Rejections never feels good, no matter who you are or how far along your writing career you are. Writing is a highly personal thing to do. We expose our innermost workings, the way the cogs in our heads function, so to have a story or poem rejected feels very personal. Conversely, when your work is accepted, you have one of those “they love me, they really love me!” moments.I do remember my first acceptance. It was for a grouping of poems, in the magazine Blinking Cursor. I think I levitated the entire day. The first rejection is trickier for me to recall, since by the time I received it, I’d already gotten my acceptance and it was for the same grouping of poems. It worked to show me just how subjective the whole writing world is.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: What prompted you to write this piece that was accepted? What sort of inspiration did you draw from as a result of producing this piece? Was it spontaneous, or something you really had to think about before you even wrote the poem?
- Valentina Cano: I call my writing style “automatic writing”. I sit and write and write and write, not editing myself as I go along. Very much like free writing. Once I feel like I have nothing else to say, I stop and read over what I’ve written. Sometimes it’s nonsense, but sometimes I can see a glimmer of an idea. This technique works very well for me, because it gives me access to the subconscious mind, which holds all the best images and ideas. I wrote this poem because I suffer from severe depression and I was going through a batch of it. Depression is a tricky beast, because it always comes back. No matter how many times I think I’ve vanquished it, exorcised it, it always comes back and that’s what I wanted to portray with the poem.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: At this stage of your career, you have established yourself, but all writers want to accomplish more. What sort of plans do you have moving forward? Or do you have aspirations that you still would like to accomplish in a professional capacity?
- Valentina Cano: I have my first novel, THE ROSE MASTER, coming out in June of 2014, so I’m very excited about that. I would, at some point, like to put together a full poetry collection, but that feels daunting at the moment. How do you go about putting poems that are individuals and have their own personalities to work together? I still haven’t figured that one out.
Clouds in Disarray
by
Kenneth Gurney
You reach up on tip toes
touch the sky
press its elastic surface
stretch it, distort it,
so it bends the light
at a more severe angle
for your painting
of a bleached wooden ladder
leaning upon a raw adobe wall
on state highway 47.
You disdain the ordinary
in a strategic realignment
of the viewers’ perception
and rationalize their headaches
as the price of expanded
points of view.
Your painting creates quite a stir
a mix of windows opened
and closed, an official
dropping off a court summons
about your smug subversion
of twilight on the fourteenth
that affected the entire state
and parts of Texas
just so you could apply
the ghosts of sunsets past
to your canvas
and the historical shadows
Kenneth P. Gurney lives in Albuquerque, NM, USA with his beloved Dianne. He emcees the Adobe Walls open mic at Page One Books and is the founding editor of the Adobe Walls anthology of NM poets. His latest collection of poems is Curvature of a Fluid Spine. To learn more visit kpgurney.me
ALBUQUERQUE INTERVIEW: The Poet Behind The Piece
LW: According to your biography, you have stated that you are the editor of your own literary
journal. How different or similar is Lavender Wolves Literary Journal to your Magazine?
KPG: Adobe Walls is a print anthology, while Lavender Wolves Literary Journal is a web publication. Otherwise I think we are similar in that we want to publish what we as editors feel is the best submitted work. It features New Mexico poets only. I feel that the quality of poetry in New Mexico is quite high and some of the poets are under-represented. I am open to all subjects as long as they do not promote hate or violence. Originally, the publication wanted Free Verse, Form poems and Slam poems as a means of exposing each group of writers to the other writers’ work. But, I have learned that the slam poets are reluctant to submit to print publications and form poets are fewer in number than I believed.
LW: How much success did you have when you first started it and what inspired you to create it?
It all depends on how you choose to measure success. I received over 1250 submitted poems for the first Adobe Walls and selected about 8% of them. I received a positive response from most people who received or purchased a copy. I lost money since sales did not meet projections. As far as inspiration goes, I simply like creating publications. I enjoy the process of reading the submissions, selecting what will be included, doing the book layout, seeking and photographing cover art, and putting on the publication reading. Some days it drives me nuts. Most days it is a great pleasure.
LW: What additional information would you like the readers of the interview to know about this journal? Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer?
KPG: I think Adobe Walls is a superb read. At this point, Adobe Walls exists only because of local crowd-sourcing efforts for each volume. So I hope your readers will be supportive of poetry in their region or of their favorite web and/or print publications. I am a believer in the Arts—when a reader supports art or literature locally or nationally, I am thrilled.
LW: Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? That being said, Do you think the internet has helped the poetry market, or hindered it anyway? Why or why not?
KPG: the goal of writing everyday for a least one hour should be a priority. Schedule that hour into your life. If you are a morning writer, wake an hour earlier if necessary. If you are an evening writer stay up late if necessary. Be confident in your writing. Don’t judge your writing in a way that causes you to feel poorly about your efforts. If you write a “poor” poem, there will be strong lines or word combinations. Use those strong parts later on for a new poem. Don’t try to force your writing. For example, If you are pissed off at your boss for something that happened at work, write it out of your system. This usually takes 10 to 20 minutes. Once the surface writing is out of the way, you may access the deeper part of your self, your voice, your poetry. ! I think the internet has helped the poetry and flash-fiction immensely. I think more and more people now practice writing because of greater publication opportunities via the web. The same goes with self-publishing. I like that people who feel the creative spark are becoming more active in their artistic and literary pursuits, instead of being passive observers wishing they were one of the chosen few. Also, I think with more editors there is greater variety of work being published. The cost effectiveness and ease of the web makes this so.
LW: The Editors greatly revere music. How much of an impact does music have on your writing style? If not, do you believe there is a marriage between poetry and music?
KPG: Music has a small impact on my writing. If music influences me, it is usually one or two lines of the lyrics that really catch my attention and not the instrumental part of the music. Words are very different when presented to an audience naked and alone, when compared to words joined with guitars, drums, bass, and other instruments. I think music is often masks weak writing. That does not make a song any less or more enjoyable.
LW: In what ways would you say poetry has influenced music over the course of the last century?
KPG: Poetry and music influence each other all the time, whether directly or indirectly. Both, as well as the visual arts, have the goal of communicating a message, whether factual or emotional. Creative people are influenced by all they experience.
LW: How do you feel about rejection as a whole?
KPG: Rejection is part of the process. My work does not connect with every editor. Currently, my work connects with about 1 in 6 editors. When I started submitting poetry in the 1990s, the ratio was more like 1 acceptance to 50 submissions. Also, so many people submit poetry these days that a rejection may mean a poem came in 6th out of 1000 submissions (top 1%), but the publication selects only 5 pieces due to page space or design. the submitting poet needs to understand that the editor of a journal is creative too. The editor wants to produce a quality publication with themes or other criteria guiding it. The result may be that a fantastic poem is rejected by an editor for reasons other than quality.
LW: If you can't remember your first rejection, did you ever have an incident in which you were confident that your piece was going to get accepted, only to find out that they were informing you of rejection? Do you remember the first time your work was accepted? LW! Conversely, do you also remember your first rejection upon submission? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career?
KPG: I never expect acceptance of my work. But I am confident that I am a good writer.! It was a micro-press publication called Blank Gun Silencer and I knew the editor. it still felt really good.! I remember the day, because six rejection notices showed up in the mail on the same day. I remember drinking an extra pint or two that evening, but my sorrows failed to At the time I started submitting poetry my life was full of turmoil. Just paying rent was difficult and sorting out lust-love issues was a priority. A rejection notice, though disappointing, was nothing compared to people I knew dying of AIDs or auto accidents or being robbed or mugged or dealing with depression. Back then, there were too many suicides in my artist-creative community. I wrote because I write. Before writing, I drew and painted. Those were my creative releases, my joys.
LW: What prompted you to write this piece that was accepted? What sort of inspiration did you draw from as a result of producing this piece?
KPG: Nothing. Writing is an act of being open to what bubbles up from the creative well. I’ve always been a surrealist at heart and surreal themes tend to show up in many of my poems. I don’t know. Probably one day, I saw a ladder against an adobe wall of a house, which is quite common in New Mexico. My angle of vision placed the top of the ladder up against the blue sky and sparse clouds. I often draw on my training as a visual artist and the studies I did of light.
LW: Was it spontaneous, or something you really had to think about before you even wrote the poem
KPG: On a conscious level, all my writing is spontaneous. It springs from not thinking. I do not have a method for measuring how long my subconscious crafts a poem before the poem emerges from my hands and fingers at the keyboard. How do you measure inspiration or locate its well spring?
On Thursday Morning 3:55 A.M.
By
Tony Walton
By
Tony Walton
There lies One whose Name is writ in Water"
john Keats (1795-1821)
Lying here imagining what would happen if
we wound back to that Time and Place and
met all over again?
And you knew it was me
and
I knew it was you.
Sure, it's a worn hypothetical but
things don't come down easy from the wall.
Would we talk about why it didn't work?
I doubt it, for we are not yet wise enough
to speak of such matters.
We are younger, slimmer, less gray -
which, and it must be said, is akin to
gaining your sight back - only better.
Now there we are chatting in the blue July air
with the gentle idleness of summer grass. You are
cooled by my contemplative calm and I warm in your
light.
Or maybe we are like veterans at a war
reunion - survivors of each other. Speaking
of future shared horrors: battles won and
lost.
Hell - we could screw, argue, have a Mexican
marriage, or split.
But wait - I notice the way your lower lip
drops and you raise your eyebrows ever so
slightly when telling a joke. And how your
crushed diamond eyes cut through my eminence front.
Truth is - I've been watching your lure all
evening from afar as you go about spawning gardens
from the soles of your feet.
So what happens later: well, it gets my full attention.
It's odd isn't it? That long look back to see
where our choices are born.
But time is a thief and it never gets caught.
Anyway - with our damn luck the clock would strike
12 and the spell would broken as in some
Cinderella fable.
"Please Fairy Godmother, give me just one more
hour, then I'll go, I promise.”
Tony Walton is a Caribbean writer living in the Cayman Islands and has appeared in The Iceland Review, Whisperings Magazine, Mountain Tales Press, Out of Our Magazine, Poetry Bay Magazine, Burningword Magazine, Wilde Magazine, Nite Writers Literary International Literary Journal, Avalon Literary Review, East Lit Liteary Magazine, Boston Poetry Magazine and Eunoia Magazine.
A Caribbean Tale: An Interview With A Caribbean Poet:
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: The editors at Lavender Wolves Literary Journal have seen your work previously appear in other literary journals. Do you have any advice to aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? That being said, do you think the internet has helped the poetry market, or hindered it in anyway? Why or why not?
Tony Walton: I think it's important to write in your own voice, as if you were saying the words you are writing. In actual speech we don't choose our voice. We grow up with an inherited pattern and structure that determines how we sound and it would be a hindrance to tinker with this. And the poem you write should tell a story and we all have stories - don't we? The internet is great medium for writing. Mediums constantly changed over history and the internet effect has been enormous. I think it has already influenced the way we write because of the vast source of material at our fingertips. The internet has exponentially accelerated contact which accelerates change (mostly positive). In answer to the question it has helped the market.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: How do you feel about rejection as a whole? Do you remember the first time your work was accepted? How about your first rejection? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career?
Tony Walton: I remember I was rejected and accepted within my first month of submitting, so the timing was pretty lucky. Rejection or acceptance in writing or any art is quite often subjective after a certain technical level.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: So what prompted you to write this piece that was accepted? What sort of inspiration did you draw from it as a result of producing this piece? Was it spontaneous, or something you really had to think about before you even wrote the poem?
Tony Walton: This poem was spontaneous. I usually see something, hear something or remember something - and it could be a single word. I then wrap a story around it. Random events have a huge influence on the roads we end up on but there are choices along the way. And then there are choices that if we had to go back and do over we still question whether we would do anything different. Of course, I don't want to complicate matters. I've made some good decisions and a few really stupid decisions. I'm likely to make a few stupid decisions this weekend, if all goes as per normal.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: Who are some of your favorite poets, and why do you consider them to be your favorites? Of those favorites, which poet influences you to write the way you do and why?
Tony Walton: My favorite writers/poets are: W.H. Auden because he tackled the Big Questions of Life and Love. Ted Hughes and Derek Walcott for their gift of language. Charles Bukowski (audible groan from many readers) as he wrote true things - and hey, the truth is gritty. Anne Sexton for her emotionally rawness. Contemporary writers/poets I really like are Elisa Gabbert and Kathleen Rooney as they are both extraordinarily profound. You can read what they are writing in a blinding storm and still not be distracted. Valentina Cano for her gift of imagery and use of it to convey emotional experiences. I enjoy the diversity of reading the work of the above feminists, misogynists, and womanizers (Ted!) - it's what makes life so damn interesting.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: At this stage of your career, you have established yourself, but all writers want to accomplish more. What sort of plans do you have moving forward? Or do you aspirations that you still would like to accomplish in a professional capacity?
Tony Walton: A few poems I have written are extracts from something longer I am writing but I am happy enough to continue on writing in the same way. When the inspiration hits me to do something a bit bigger and with more effort, well then - I will.
john Keats (1795-1821)
Lying here imagining what would happen if
we wound back to that Time and Place and
met all over again?
And you knew it was me
and
I knew it was you.
Sure, it's a worn hypothetical but
things don't come down easy from the wall.
Would we talk about why it didn't work?
I doubt it, for we are not yet wise enough
to speak of such matters.
We are younger, slimmer, less gray -
which, and it must be said, is akin to
gaining your sight back - only better.
Now there we are chatting in the blue July air
with the gentle idleness of summer grass. You are
cooled by my contemplative calm and I warm in your
light.
Or maybe we are like veterans at a war
reunion - survivors of each other. Speaking
of future shared horrors: battles won and
lost.
Hell - we could screw, argue, have a Mexican
marriage, or split.
But wait - I notice the way your lower lip
drops and you raise your eyebrows ever so
slightly when telling a joke. And how your
crushed diamond eyes cut through my eminence front.
Truth is - I've been watching your lure all
evening from afar as you go about spawning gardens
from the soles of your feet.
So what happens later: well, it gets my full attention.
It's odd isn't it? That long look back to see
where our choices are born.
But time is a thief and it never gets caught.
Anyway - with our damn luck the clock would strike
12 and the spell would broken as in some
Cinderella fable.
"Please Fairy Godmother, give me just one more
hour, then I'll go, I promise.”
Tony Walton is a Caribbean writer living in the Cayman Islands and has appeared in The Iceland Review, Whisperings Magazine, Mountain Tales Press, Out of Our Magazine, Poetry Bay Magazine, Burningword Magazine, Wilde Magazine, Nite Writers Literary International Literary Journal, Avalon Literary Review, East Lit Liteary Magazine, Boston Poetry Magazine and Eunoia Magazine.
A Caribbean Tale: An Interview With A Caribbean Poet:
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: The editors at Lavender Wolves Literary Journal have seen your work previously appear in other literary journals. Do you have any advice to aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? That being said, do you think the internet has helped the poetry market, or hindered it in anyway? Why or why not?
Tony Walton: I think it's important to write in your own voice, as if you were saying the words you are writing. In actual speech we don't choose our voice. We grow up with an inherited pattern and structure that determines how we sound and it would be a hindrance to tinker with this. And the poem you write should tell a story and we all have stories - don't we? The internet is great medium for writing. Mediums constantly changed over history and the internet effect has been enormous. I think it has already influenced the way we write because of the vast source of material at our fingertips. The internet has exponentially accelerated contact which accelerates change (mostly positive). In answer to the question it has helped the market.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: How do you feel about rejection as a whole? Do you remember the first time your work was accepted? How about your first rejection? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career?
Tony Walton: I remember I was rejected and accepted within my first month of submitting, so the timing was pretty lucky. Rejection or acceptance in writing or any art is quite often subjective after a certain technical level.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: So what prompted you to write this piece that was accepted? What sort of inspiration did you draw from it as a result of producing this piece? Was it spontaneous, or something you really had to think about before you even wrote the poem?
Tony Walton: This poem was spontaneous. I usually see something, hear something or remember something - and it could be a single word. I then wrap a story around it. Random events have a huge influence on the roads we end up on but there are choices along the way. And then there are choices that if we had to go back and do over we still question whether we would do anything different. Of course, I don't want to complicate matters. I've made some good decisions and a few really stupid decisions. I'm likely to make a few stupid decisions this weekend, if all goes as per normal.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: Who are some of your favorite poets, and why do you consider them to be your favorites? Of those favorites, which poet influences you to write the way you do and why?
Tony Walton: My favorite writers/poets are: W.H. Auden because he tackled the Big Questions of Life and Love. Ted Hughes and Derek Walcott for their gift of language. Charles Bukowski (audible groan from many readers) as he wrote true things - and hey, the truth is gritty. Anne Sexton for her emotionally rawness. Contemporary writers/poets I really like are Elisa Gabbert and Kathleen Rooney as they are both extraordinarily profound. You can read what they are writing in a blinding storm and still not be distracted. Valentina Cano for her gift of imagery and use of it to convey emotional experiences. I enjoy the diversity of reading the work of the above feminists, misogynists, and womanizers (Ted!) - it's what makes life so damn interesting.
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: At this stage of your career, you have established yourself, but all writers want to accomplish more. What sort of plans do you have moving forward? Or do you aspirations that you still would like to accomplish in a professional capacity?
Tony Walton: A few poems I have written are extracts from something longer I am writing but I am happy enough to continue on writing in the same way. When the inspiration hits me to do something a bit bigger and with more effort, well then - I will.
Doggie Despair
By
Gary Beck
Spring so far had been erratic, unusually warm some days, interspersed with unusually cold days, and infrequent but heavy rains. My silent clown show that I performed Saturdays and Sundays at Central Park West and 72nd Street had only been rained out once, which was good for me. I earned almost as much doing the show and making balloon animals afterwards, as I did teaching drama at Gotham University School of the Arts. Climate change may have been screwing up the planet, but so far it hadn't really affected my life. I was certain farmers and beach towns felt differently.
My live-in girlfriend, MJ, nee Marguerite Janice Van Doerner Kowalski, had come to see my clown show in early April. She had come back several times after that. She told me she was fascinated seeing another side of my character, a sweet, innocent creature who reassured and never mocked, unlike my civilian self, invariably cynical and caustic. It was a strange experience to have someone see past my protective façade, but MJ, a bright sparkly, fair-skinned, red-headed artist, was not an ordinary person. We first met at a protest rally in Tompkins Square Park and I was instantly attracted to her. As our relationship evolved, I developed deeper and deeper feelings for her, that became even more intense when she moved into my 6th floor, walk-up on East 9th Street, between Avenues C and D.
MJ was a serious artist, whose current work was an abstract form that she called neo-color field, with roots in Helen Frankenthaler's stain technique on unprimed canvas. I had been working on my play, 'Unravelings', in a work space she set up for me in her studio, where lots of her artist friends hung out. Their art babble about surface texture, centrifugal shaping, color process, form extension, was an alien language to me. They were so sincere and unpretentious that I couldn't help liking them, despite not having a passport to their land.
For the most part the artists accepted me, especially after my play reading was attended by a world famous artist, invited by my ex-girlfriend, Anitra Blavatsky, a bony, chilly artist who worked for him. I had nicknamed him 'Sophisto', the master of plastic, for his wrapping the wonders of nature in stifling plastic. I detested his work, but he had been so enthusiastic about my play that I suppressed my caustic comments and thanked him graciously, which surprised Anitra, but was appreciated by MJ.
MJ was pleased by my new attitude towards 'Sophisto'. He had visited her studio and praised her work. This gave her a boost in the art community, as well as benefiting me. She had been busy painting, preparing for her one-person show in the fall, encouraged by her artist friends who were very supportive. Their only problem at her studio was my dog Pard, a clever mutt, who I brought along whenever I worked there. Pard had to be the horniest dog in the western hemisphere, completely unsuccessful at satisfying his sexual needs. Whenever the opportunity arose, he mounted one of the artist's legs and began humping. The victim called MJ for help and she immediately restrained him. Pard had already humped one of the female artists until his red member popped out and he ejaculated on her. She fled and wouldn't return if he was there. Well, someone once said the path of art is thorny.
I had tried different ways to deal with Pard's involuntary abstinence, some reasonable, some bizarre. One far-fetched fantasy was opening a doggie brothel. Of course Pard would be its best customer. Another solution shattered by a dose of reality. My latest idea seemed very clever at first. I would get a life size, inflatable, pneumatic plastic doggie sex doll, that Pard could use regularly. When I revealed the shining brilliancy to MJ, she responded:
"Euuw.Ooky. You're not bringing that disgusting thing into our house or studio."
That was pretty definite. Once again Pard would have to do without. But my insecure loner's self was partially reassured by MJ's 'our house'.
Aside from Pard's discomfort, my life was going surprisingly well. My Hamlet class did the reading performance in one of Gotham U's 99 seat, state of the art theaters, with lighting and basic costumes of black tights and tops. It had been a tremendous success. The students had mostly memorized their lines, which I thought was an incredible accomplishment and I told them so. Then they performed with script in hand. They had worked hard, learned their entrances and exits, and mastered the blocking and stage movement. They were a lot better than some of the actors that I had worked with Off-Off Broadway.
Family and friends of the students loved what had unexpectedly become a real show. They sat through three and a half hours, with only one intermission, and at the end gave the performers a standing ovation. Afterwards there was a wine and cheese reception, provided by my department chairman, Professor Ernest Derringer, who I had nicknamed the 'emoter', for his effusive ways. His attitude towards me had changed drastically, I know not why. I was still my caustic, cynical self, but he had become very accommodating.
Ernest talked to most of the parents, especially the wealthy and important ones. He paid special attention to one of the students, Merriweather Garner, and her father, who was a Broadway theater producer and a past donor to the theater department. The students had babbled excitedly in the post-performance exhilaration for a completely supportive audience. When they calmed down a bit, Juno Franklin, a bright, aggressive lesbian, my favorite student who had played Hamlet, said loudly:
"Ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of our whole class, I'd like to thank Mr. Kensington who did such a great job."
The students applauded vigorously and a few cheered, followed by the audience. I immediately stopped them.
"Thank you for your appreciation. But this is the student's evening. They worked hard, intelligently, creatively and gave a worthy performance of the most demanding play in the English language. I just did my job. They made this an absolute adventure…."
The audience applauded and when they finished, I added:
"I gave each of them an A for the course and wish I could give them an Obie. Thank you all for attending."
The audience applauded again and when the students went to change to street clothes, Mr. Garner congratulated me.
"I'm very impressed with what you accomplished with students in such a short time."
"They worked really well. Besides, we had more time than a showcase."
He laughed, then handed me a business card.
"Call me if you do something I can see."
"As a matter of fact, sir. I'm staging a production of my first full length play, 'Unravelings' in this theater on the next two weekends."
He got the particulars and told me he'd try to make one of the performances.
I went home that night singing 'Give My Regards to Broadway'.
The production of my play at the 99 seat theater, the 'Hickenlooper' Theater, named after the donor, had come about in the strangest way. The Hamlet class had been going so well in early April, and Ernest was so pleased with our progress, as well as acting so benevolently towards me, that at our next meeting I had daringly asked if I could use one of the department's 99 seat theaters for my play showcase. Wonder of wonders. Instead of outraged rejection of my presumptuous request, he asked me about the play. When I described the staged readings, and 'Sophisto's' endorsement, perhaps I fibbed a little about his commitment to attend a production, Ernest's antennae went up. I added that other noted artists and theater people would attend and Ernest went on full alert. He looked at me appraisingly for a minute, then told me I could use the same 'Hickenlooper' Theater the last two weekends in May, that I would be using for the Hamlet class production.
I thanked Ernest profusely and almost danced out of his office. But I restrained myself and didn't do the cavorting 'I've got a theater dance', until I was in the hallway, much to the amusement of the students I passed. But I had a theater and a play. All I needed was a cast, designers, a tech crew and enough money to pay for the production. My theater career was taking off like a guided missile. I had rushed to the 'Hickenlooper', sat down onstage with a feeling of proprietorship and phoned the actors who did the reading.
By some coincidence, they all were free that evening and I asked them to meet me at the 'Hickenlooper', which name gave them all a laugh. I arranged with security to let them in and direct them to the 'Hickenlooper'. The rent-a-cop, who might have to risk his life to protect the sons and daughters of prosperity for the minimum wage, asked me no questions. I could have invited al Qaeda bombers and if they were dressed in jeans and t-shirts, no one would have checked their backpacks. It didn't surprise me. Why should Gotham U. be different from so many bastions of capitalism that paid minority security personnel a pittance, to guard valuable lives and property. A moment later I forgot social issues, studying the jewel box theater that was mine, mine, mine, for at least a few weeks.
I gave the actors a tour of the theater, especially backstage, with real, live dressing rooms, air conditioned luxury and the green room with comfortable chairs, couches, a refrigerator, microwave and a wi-fi connection. They were suitably impressed, as they were accustomed to the equivalent of skid row settings where they performed Off-Off Broadway.
"All this can be yours," I crooned expansively, "for a wonderful showcase-like production of 'Unravelings', which you read so well."
"Tell us about it", Jessica said, not masking her excitement.
"I have the theater for the last two weekends in May. If you all make the commitment, I'll pay you $50 a week for two weeks of intense rehearsals, and $100 a week for the two weekends of performances, on Friday and Saturday nights." I had given them a few minutes to absorb the information and register the numbers. "The only way I can do the show with so little lead time is if all of you do it. Why don't you check your schedules, think about it and get back to me tomorrow."
My aplomb was only skin-deep, because it felt like the fate of my world was in the hands of actors, very precarious vessels. But before I could say anything else, Jessica had said:
"I'll do it. What about you guys?"
Alan and Ron said yes, but Derek held up his hand.
"Let me make a quick call."
He phoned a friend and asked him to sub for him at the restaurant, disconnected, then said:
"I'm in."
We had worked as hard as theater people ever could, and at the same time I made sure to give my Hamlet students my best efforts. Somehow the students had heard about my play and started coming to the theater in the evenings and watching rehearsals. They avidly soaked up everything we were doing and the actors, enjoying the youngsters fascination with the process, played a little more to the audience. One of the boys had asked if he could video the rehearsals, and I agreed, as long as he gave me a copy. I made certain to be the same person with the actors that I was with the students, except I worked them harder.
A week before the Hamlet reading, Juno had asked me if the students could come see my show.
"Sure. If you come the first week and come back for the second, you'll see an evolving show."
"What's the difference? Aren't the same actors doing it?"
"Yes. But they'll grow in confidence, and I'll make changes during the week."
I hired a lighting designer I knew who offered to run the lighting for an additional fee. I gladly agreed. MJ coordinated the costumes and was my stage manager. The actors adored her. Anitra promoted the show and got 'Sophisto' to come. He brought an entourage to opening night, as well as another famous artist, known for his sculpture of popular images, like dogs and rabbits, that sold at auction for prodigious prices. Ernest made introductory remarks praising me. The audience loved the show and enjoyed the champagne afterwards. I praised the actors and Ernest. So I was becoming a politician. Everyone praised me and I went home that night feeling so good that my only regret was that my family wasn't there.
The two weekends had flown by in an instant and I barely had a chance to savor the play. Mr. Garner, the Broadway producer, came to the last performance, with his daughter. We had talked for a few minutes after the curtain and he said the show had potential for Off- Broadway. He told me to call his office and make an appointment to discuss a possible production. I thanked him effusively and said goodnight. All my theater fantasies were bubbling and simmering just below the surface of my cool exterior.
I took MJ and Anitra to a late dinner at an expensive steak house that was way beyond my budget, but the last wonderful month warranted a celebration. MJ was her usual loving self and Anitra was unusually warm, probably due to my recent accomplishments. But so what. All was well in my little world and there was the possibility of a bigger production to come. I may have depleted my savings, but this was what it was for. And I had actually gotten up the next morning and did my clown show at Central Park West and 72nd Street. If I was careful about expenditures, my savings would grow again. MJ, who had a trust fund, had offered to finance the production, but she understood my refusal and my need to do it myself.
The only thorn in my side was Pard, who had spent a lot of time alone while I was busy with Hamlet and ''Unravelings'. MJ had been taking him for his morning and evening runs, so he was glad that I was back to my usual routine. The warming weather was making him increasingly horny. I hadn't given his problem much thought since MJ's absolute rejection of the pneumatic doggie doll, so it was time for something new. I wracked my brain, but all I could come up with were the silliest ideas. MJ laughed when I proposed disguising him with a fur coat and claiming he was a new breed. She laughed even harder when I said I could pretend to be blind, wear dark glasses and a cane, and have a sign that said: 'seeing eye dog needs sex'.
No brilliancy arrived, no matter how hard I wracked my brain. I was embarrassed that I couldn't find a solution to Pard's ongoing doggie frustration. I idly wondered if dogs could get the proverbial 'blue balls'. I decided not to mention to MJ the crude idea of adopting a bitch from the ASPCA, letting Pard use her, then returning her. Somehow I didn't think MJ would go for it. So I patted Pard fondly and said:
"Sorry, pal. I'm still trying. Hang in there."
He put his head on my knee, looked at me woefully, as if to say: 'how long, boss?'
Gary Beck has spent most of his adult life as a theater director. His chapbook Remembrance was published by Origami Condom Press, The Conquest of Somalia was published by Cervena Barva Press, The Dance of Hate was published by Calliope Nerve Media, Material Questions was published by Silkworms Ink,'Dispossessed was published by Medulla Press, Mutilated Girls was published by Heavy Hands Ink, Pavan and other poems was published by Indigo Mosaic and Iraq Monologues was published by Atlantean Press. A collection of his poetry Days of Destruction was published by Marie Celeste Press. Another collection Expectations was published by Rogue Scholars Press, Dawn in Cities was published by Winter Goose Press and Assault on Nature is being published by Winter Goose Press. His novel Extreme Change was published by Cogwheel Press and Acts of Defiance is being published by Artemae Press. His original plays and translations of Moliere, Aristophanes and Sophocles have been produced Off Broadway. His poetry has appeared in hundreds of literary magazines. He currently lives in New York City.
Interviewing A Broadway Virtuoso:
Lavender Wolves Literary Journal: The editors at Lavender Wolves Literary Journal found your piece in particular incredibly fascinating. Do you have any advice to aspiring writers who have not been published before who would like to establish their voice as a literary writer? We know writing fiction and stories in general are difficult, but what do you suggest certain writers do in order to see their diligent efforts be displayed in literary journals, particularly shorts stories and fiction? Do you think the internet has aided these writers or hindered it in anyway? Why or why not?
Gary Beck: Fiction writers have thousands of outlets for their work, via the internet. They should read the magazines they want to publish in and see if they fit.
·LW: You mentioned in your biography that you grew up in New York City. How has growing up in this part of the world helped to sculpt who you are as a writer? You have also achieved unprecedented success with your work as a theater director as well. In what ways is your current job related to the literary market? How did you get into this particular field?
GB: New York city is the financial, cultural and poverty capital of America. All these elements shaped me. I started writing poetry at age 16. I got involved with theater at age 17, in a very zany experience.
LW: Do you think there is a marriage between music, literary journals, and theater? Why or why not? Furthermore, does music influence your writing in any way? Has the evolution of music and theater aided the literary market in any way?
GB: Music is an ever present element of theater. I see no relationship between theater and literary journals, except they publish plays and obscure criticism.
LW: How do you feel about rejection as a whole? do you remember the first time your work was accepted? Conversely, do you also remember your first rejection upon submission? What was going through your mind during these pivotal moments of your literary career.
GB: Acceptance and rejection has never been a significant factor in my work.
LW: What prompted you to write this piece that was accepted? What sort of inspiration did you draw from as a result of producing this piece? Was it spontaneous, or something you really had to think about before you even wrote the poem?
GB: I've written a series of 'doggie stories', a diverting contrast from my more serious work.
·LW: Who are some of your favorite poets and writers, and why do you consider them to be your favorites? Of those favorites, which poet or writer has had the greatest influence on you thus far and why?
GB: Poe, Whitman, Elliot, Mallarmee, Lermontov, Dreiser, Wolfe, Steinbeck. Whitman and Steinbeck each explored the soul of America.
LW: At this stage of your career, you have established yourself, having appeared in numerous publications in print and online. however, all writers want to accomplish more. What sort of plans do you have moving forward? Or do you have aspirations that you still would like to accomplish in a professional capacity?
GB: I need to develop a large, diverse readership.
